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Sunday, January 29, 2012

"Stop Playing the Victim!"



The other day I found myself aimlessly reading my Facebook news feed. As I scrolled through, I came across a status update that read something like,
          
"Everyday I see you begging on the side of the road, but the funny part is, it  always looks like you just came from the barber shop. SMH."

Now a normal person would've probably read this, smirked and then moved on but I sat and pondered that statement for a while. As I thought about it, another scenario that has annoyed me forever came to mind. What about the women and their families who are on government assistance but always have a fresh pair of acrylic nails designed immaculately? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with getting your nails done, but if you're strapped on cash and can barely feed your kids is the best idea to go out and routinely get your nails done?

Call me crazy, but I think not.

It's human nature to feel like we're entitled to the success, nice cars, expensive cuisine and the like and when we don't have what we think we should have we become the "victim." All of a sudden,

Life isn't fair.

Everyone has it out for us.

Or

The cards have been stacked against us.

Nothing annoys me more than people who play the victim card because they've been dealt a bad hand in life.

Really?

Our lives are not a deck of cards. (I wish someone would ban that stupid saying). Life is a series of decisions, outcomes, and sometimes consequences. Everyday we have a choice of where our lives are going to go and we can choose to make the right ones or continue down the path that we're on.

I'll give you an example.

Let's say you were just hired to do a job you've been dying for. In order to celebrate your friends volunteer to take you out for dinner and a few drinks. It's a Monday night and you're scheduled to start working Tuesday morning. You're excited that they want to treat you, but deep down you know you should be going to bed and preparing for work the next day. With a little more coaxing, they've convinced you to go out that night instead of waiting until the weekend. Besides you're an adult, "live a little," they say.

So you do.

Two margaritas, four shots, two beers, and a celebratory glass of champagne later you're feeling a little off and definitely certain that it's time for you to call it a night. What you thought would be a cozy night of resting instead becomes a night of toilet hugging. You see, you were never a big drinker. In fact, you could've been good after the first margarita but that wasn't enough.

You had to celebrate.

Finally you're back in bed, your stomach doing somersaults and the room spinning. Before you know it, you finally black out.

Yes!

Turning over in your bed, you can feel the steady stream of sunlight beating against your face. That's weird because usually the sun is blocked by the tree outside of your window in the morning. You jump up in your bed, your heart pumping and glance at your wall clock. It's 2:00pm; six hours past the time you were supposed to be at work. To make things worse, you sat up so fast that you can feel the next reminder of last night's gathering about to explode out of your mouth. Consequently, you spend the next two hours projectile vomiting before passing out on your bathroom floor.

Day two doesn't look any better.

You've missed two days of work and receive a call that your job offer has been revoked. Oh poor you. I guess it was just bad luck.

Get my point?

This example might have been a little extreme but I think it sort of works. I pray that this has never and will never happen to any of you but what about our other life choices?
You know, purchasing a car, purse, house, clothing, or that large flat screen you didn't need. You put it on multiple credit cards and then complain that you never have any money or that you're extremely in debt. Is that the world against you or you against yourself?

What about dating someone who you know for a fact is horrible for you. You do everything for him; cook dinner, clean his apartment, pay for things, give him intimacy, and what do you get in return? 

Usually, a big fat nothing! Whose fault is that? Are you truly the victim?

Now don't hate me, but I only write these things because I care. You may say, but you don't even know me. That's okay. I truly care about every person have the knowledge and will power to have the best life they possibly can. Whether I know you personally, through email, or have never even spoken to you before,

I care!

We have to realize that the decisions we make control our outcomes. If we continue to make bad ones, we're going to slowly go deeper and deeper into a hole that we won't be able to get out of so do me a favor and stop digging yourself a trench!

If you don't need it, don't buy it!

If he's not good for you, run!

If you have a responsibility, fulfill it!

The bottom line . . . STOP playing the victim and start looking at your everyday decisions! You'll be surprised at how what you do today shapes your tomorrow.