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Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Insecurity Curse

The Insecurity Curse
We've all felt the pull of insecurity at one time or another. It's like a dark cloud that looms around us, pointing out every flaw; highlighting and accentuating some more than others. As  women, it's become almost natural to have an insecurity; sort of a curse! If we actually take a step back and look around us, where do these curses originate? The obvious culprit is the media, but everyone blames them right? So for the purpose of this article, we won't blame them specifically because we have our own minds and can formulate our own opinions.

So who am I going to blame?

I'm sure you've guessed it by now . . . it's you and I. In our minds, we have a tendency to create images of what we think is perfect, beautiful, and/or normal. Someone I might find beautiful may appear unattractive to another onlooker because we all value something different. To make matters worse, most of the time, we ourselves don't even fit into the mould we've carved out for ourselves.

Signal the insecurity.

The problem with insecurity is that it can be paralyzing. We can get so wrapped up in our picture perfect images, lives, jobs, and relationships that if they don't measure up we tend to think we're inadequate.

Why do we continue to beat ourselves up?

Believe me, I'm not any different. As confident as I may appear to people on the outside, my husband and family know me well enough to know I'm highly insecure about one thing in particular. The thing is, it's not a new insecurity so you'd think I'd be over it. On the contrary, it's one that has plagued me since I received my adult teeth. Before my baby teeth started falling out, I had a beautiful smile. I would happily take a photo without the slightest hesitation; smile without any forethought on how I should position my tongue behind my teeth to try and make my smile a little fuller.

It may sound ridiculous, but it's true.

Of course everyone assures me that you can't notice my misfortune, but honestly how can you not? I actually woke up the other morning in tears because I couldn't understand why God would allow me to have such an ugly smile. If you haven't figured it out yet, I have a large amount of space between my two front teeth. Now if you don't agree that our insecurity regarding our image is paralyzing, I would beg to differ based on the amount of pictures I've taken in my lifetime. Compared to any normal person who takes on average two thousand photos a year, I would probably take about fifty of the two thousand.
While I wouldn't want anything more than to have a beautiful smile, I can't continue to let something so small paralyze my life. It not only affects the way I smile, it controls my confidence, my life, and who I'll let myself become.

For me, it's time to break my insecurity curse and I hope you'll join me with breaking one of your own. It won't be easy, but in order to start we have to:

Stop comparing ourselves to others.

Recognize the impact our insecurity is having on our lives.


Make a plan to tackle the situation and stick to it. (Whether it is losing weight, fixing teeth, getting a new job or whatever else is plaguing you).

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