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Monday, May 21, 2012

I am not Superwoman

                                            I am not Superwoman

Take a look at my monthly calendar and you're bound to find it jam packed with meetings, engagements, and celebratory functions. To say that I'm a busy person would be an understatement. Up until now, I loved the feeling of running from place to place, being too busy to talk, meet for dinner, or entertain the thought of writing a birthday card. Heck, even respond to a text message.

I was just too busy. Important even!

I was the living, breathing example of what America describes as a "successful woman" and I loved it. This superwoman drive wasn't a new thing. I've been moving at warp speed since I was in high school; starting this club, helping with that one, cheerleading, working, and relationship after relationship. Seemingly everything a girl could want, but something changed the other day.
Yes, if you're counting, it took me nearly a decade to have this "Ah Ha," moment.

The other day as I laid in bed staring at my exhausted husband who I needed to get up in the next few minutes (The worst part is that He'd just laid down) in order to go to a two hour meeting for a mission trip we were going on, I realized I was killing him. Not only was I dragging him to another engagement, he had to go to work that evening. Did I forget to mention that he was lying down because we had just gotten home from volunteering? I know what you're thinking . . . her poor husband, that girl is crazy.

Believe me, I totally agree and so would most of the people closest to me.

There is something really and truly wrong with me and the rest of America. Where do we get this idea that the busier we are or the more that we do measures our level of success? I've come to the realization that doing everything and being uber busy doesn't make me successful. In fact the only thing it makes me is exhausted, snappy, un-relational, and a complete maniac. It took my husband's and my tired bodies to realize that I can't do everything.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

I've clearly proven to myself that I can do everything but that sure doesn't mean that I should.
What I've found about myself and most Americans who are just TOO busy is that the more we have to do, the more we find ourselves alone in our personal lives. We're everywhere but never really anywhere at the same time. Our days are spent whisking from here to there that all we can afford to offer is the occasional surface conversation before bouncing to our next activity. Being so busy all the time, I've realized I have no time to build relationships, maintain old ones, visit my family, or be the wife I know that I can be. (Even though I can't promise I'll start cooking if I had more time. Sorry honey). It's time for us to stop with all the madness and take back our lives. We need to learn to relax, stop planning, doing everything, and just be content doing nothing.
I hope you'll join me and put down your superwoman cape.

Here are a few ways we can start:

1) Set your priorities. (Sit down and make a list of the things you do, but put them in order of importance to you. One being the most important and go from there).

2) If it's not at the top of your list, get rid of it!

3) Stop taking on new tasks. (This is one of the hardest things for me. I'm asked to do so many things in one month and I hate to disappoint people, but there comes a time when you just can't take on anything else).

4) Learn to say NO!

5) Evaluate why you feel the need to do so much. (Does it make you feel important? Valued? Do you like receiving the recognition?)

6) Think of who you're leaving out when you take on another project. (I think Shaun Blakeney put it best, "If I say yes to you, I'm saying no to my children or wife." You may not have any kids but I'm sure you can fill in the blank).

I hope you really take some time and think about today's topic. If you're willing, you can find a life of peace filled with fulfilling relationships and memories that include more than downing another cup of coffee to make it through your list of commitments.


  1. When people ask me "how are you doing?" my most common response is "Oh, you know...trying to keep my head above water" which is a stinky response but much better than for me to say "ok" when I know I don't feel that way.

    I had planned on this being a busy week since I'm doing the marketing for an important event for a political figure, but fortunately I receive the email that this would be postponed until October. Yes! Now I have time got it, catch up with EVERYTHING else.

    I really don't think I do it because I feel important or valued but most of the time I do feel that it IS to keep my head above water.

    Times are rough and for career-oriented women like ourselves, it is something that drags us in and keeps our gears going. I know there will be a time for me when I re-prioritize my life... (like a baby!...ahem!!!!) For now, I'm just pulling through!

    Great to see you back!

  2. Great post! I'm always thinking about what I need to add to my "to do" list.. Or how much I can accomplish in one day. But you do have to step back sometimes. If you are working on "empty" things aren't going to turn out the way you want them even if you do them!


  3. Great post! Learning to say no is the best lesson anyone could learn and apply in their lives. Balance is such an important thing, but we are usually so busy running through life that we are always out of balance! Life can be so empty when we are just going from thing to thing. It's always great to cut out a few things so that you can fully experience others!

    XO Kelley

  4. Very interesting,see you again.

  5. Im pretty good with prioritizing, but i tend to get lazy... :(

  6. For years, I had a big problem with saying no. It seemed like anyone who wanted something from me, got it. I went out of my way to do make sure I could do something to make their lives easier and it took me a long time to realize that no one was doing anything to make mine easier. After a while, I was just too exhausted and too full of resentment for a laundry list of people that I knew something had to change. I started saying no, and life has been much happier and more productive for me since then.