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"If they gossip to you, they gossip about you?"
No matter how we try to twist, manipulate, or justify it, gossip is just plain awful.
Nothing good ever comes out of it. In fact, all gossip does is breed disloyalty, secretiveness, distrust, and loss of friendships.
Recently, I've become more and more annoyed with women who like to gossip. I'm uncertain if it's the actual act that annoys the bejeezes out of me or the fact that I just fail to see the point in it.
I hate getting phone calls or texts whose sole purpose is to update me on what someone else is doing when frankly I don't care. My outlook is, if they wanted me to know, they would tell me them-self.
Why on Earth do others feel the need to share intimate details from another person's life as if it were urgent news?
Gossip is never urgent news!
Don't get my wrong, I like most women have had the gossip bug at one time or another. I still struggle to make sure I'm filtering what I say and that I'm not actively participating in a round of gossip. Even if I have to play dumb when I know darn well the situation, result, and/or participants.
When people know someone's a "gossiper," they tend to shy away from them due to fear of their business being spread to the world.
Frankly, Facebook does a good enough job at that.
As women, there should be a code of confidence. The confidence of knowing that if someone shares something intimate, personal, or life changing with a friend, it's going to stay with that friend.
Not come up in casual conversation as a "Oh I heard so and so is . . ."
Is there not a women code? You'd better believe guys have one and they stick to it!
Maybe we should step up and take the same vow.
If you agree, I challenge you to share this article with your friends, sisters, followers, or whoever and then leave a comment below signing the "Virtue Confidence" vow.
Virtue Vow of Confidence
I __________ vow to be a loyal friend to those who entrust
their secrets, heart, and life situations to me as long as it's not life threatening. I will no longer talk about the private matters of others casually, whether initiated by myself or another. Those who come to me in confidence will know that what they share stops with me. I will not be a gossiper, and certainly will not participate in it. If what I'm discussing about another person isn't with the intent of solving a problem, it is my vow to not have any part in it.
This is my Virtue Vow of Confidence.
I love this. Women really need to start being more supportive of one another.
ReplyDeleteSO TRUE!! Such an issue at work lately - but then I work with all women, so of course there tends to be gossip. Doesn't make it right! I think the most irritating thing is that they'll say one thing in front of someone and then talk about them behind their backs. I try to live by the rule that if I wouldn't say it to or in front of the person, I don't say it at all, but I admit, I slip up in this as well.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I used to lock myself in my classroom when I was a teacher because the gossip mill ran rampant. Such a shame.
DeleteI'm so there with you. I think the same thing that if they're talking about others to me then they'll do the same thing to me. I really like your vow and I'm taking it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Lucy! You know I've been thinking about that a lot. Especially with the women I know have a lot of knowledge of others' lives. It just floors me how they know so much. : /
DeleteI agree about people needing to be more supportive. I struggle with this daily.
ReplyDeleteAmanda Rose
http://sewmuchtosay.blogspot.com
I'm with you girl! I just don't understand why women have to gossip... We should be working to build eachother up not to tearing others down. Gossip is such a downer..
ReplyDeletexx
Giovanna
www.oliveandanarrow.com
I've been trying hard to avoid gossip. I don't start it. but it's easy to slip into it when someone comes to you with "concern". Goddip is NOT okay
ReplyDeleteI think that's exactly it. When someone comes to you and starts gossiping, it's hard not to let word vomit come out. It's truly a daily battle.
DeleteHate gossip, still we need it sometimes...
ReplyDeleteGreat post, every single person can relate to it. I agree its a daily battle, I can gossip without even truly noticing I'm doing it. So, definitely have to watch my mouth!
ReplyDeletehttp://yuliconversations.blogspot.com/